How to Feel Your Emotions Without Getting Overwhelmed
Many people come to therapy worried about one thing:
“If I start feeling this, I won’t be able to stop.”
So it makes sense that you might stay in your head. It feels safer talking about emotions rather than actually feeling them. Or maybe you avoid certain topics altogether because your body tightens, your chest feels heavy, or your mind goes blank.
Here’s the important part:
You aren’t doing anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you.
The Pendulum Metaphor
Imagine your nervous system like a pendulum.
On one side is safety and regulation: feeling grounded, present, and connected to your body.
On the other side is distress: emotions, sensations, or memories that feel uncomfortable or activating.
In healing work, we don’t push the pendulum hard into distress and leave it there. That would be overwhelming. Instead, we start with tiny, contained movements.
Just a small swing toward discomfort.
Then we intentionally swing back to safety.
What That Looks Like in Real Life
This might mean:
Noticing a tight feeling in your chest for a few seconds
Naming a feeling like sadness or fear
Touching briefly on something difficult
And then coming back out:
Feeling your feet on the floor
Taking a slow breath
Looking around the room and reminding your body that you’re safe right now
You’re not “avoiding” the feeling. You’re actually teaching your nervous system something new.
Why Talking Isn’t Always Enough
Many of us believe that if we can explain something or understand it logically, we’re processing it. But trauma and chronic stress don’t just live in our thoughts. They get stored in the body.
That’s why you can know something is over, yet still feel on edge, numb, or overwhelmed.
Healing can’t happen only in the thinking part of your brain.
It also has to happen through sensation, emotion, and safety in the body.
Building Trust With Your Nervous System
Each time you gently swing into a little bit of distress and then come back to regulation, your body learns:
“I can feel this.”
“I don’t have to get stuck.”
“Safety is available.”
Over time, your nervous system builds capacity. Not because you’re forcing yourself to feel more, but because your body trusts that you can come back out.
Taking This Skill Outside of Therapy
Eventually, this isn’t just something you do in sessions.
You may start to notice:
A wave of anxiety during your day
Emotion coming up in a conversation
Tension in your body
And instead of shutting down or spiraling, you can gently pendulate:
Notice the feeling → ground → return to safety.
That’s regulation in real time.
Healing Isn’t About Staying Calm
Healing doesn’t mean never feeling distress again. It means learning how to move in and out of it without getting stuck.
When your body learns that emotions can be felt, noticed, talked about, and safely regulated, something shifts. You’re no longer fighting yourself, you’re listening.
